Why must we look within?

Because all personal problems are problems of the mind

Hello

This newsletter is an attempt to engage in dialogue with you most truthfully and honestly possible. This implies that I will speak straight from the heart with a complete purity of intent. My writing is a reflection of who I am genuinely, and therefore I will not ask anyone to proofread any of these posts before publishing. Having dealt with this, let’s come to the topic of this post.

I, as a human being, realize that my life is full of problems. There are problems in relationships, problems with emotions, problems of self-worth, problems of the environment, problems of politics, etc. However, when I introspect, I learn that all problems are problems of the mind. It’s because whatever happens in the world, the processing of that happens in my mind. If my mind were to not see these as problems, the problem would cease to exist.

The very term “problem” is a problem of perception. Because of my inability to reconcile what is versus what should be, I develop conflict within myself. This conflict is the problem. I’ll share a few examples.

If I break up with my lover, and I am heartbroken with it, it’s because I perceive a breach of trust or a breach of commitment or a breach of communication or a breach of something else. I’m comparing the ideal to the real which leads to conflict. The ideal is where my lover behaves according to me, but the reality is where my lover behaves according to themselves. This conflict causes pain.

If I lose a loved one, and I feel sad about it, it’s because I perceive a breach of perpetuity. The ideal is where everyone lives forever, but the reality is where everyone dies at some point. This conflict, a perception problem, causes pain.

If I feel that I have not achieved anything in life, and I feel like shit about it, it’s because I perceive a breach of potential. The ideal here is someone else who I picture as a success according to me, but the reality is that I am what I am because of my decisions, my actions and luck. I cannot replicate another person’s path even if I wanted to, because our journeys are, and will be unique and different. This conflict, a perception problem, causes pain.

How do I believe that this is true?

If I move on after a break up with my lover, I’ve moved on mentally. That partner who I believed had cheated me hasn’t changed. It’s only I that have changed. Wouldn’t this change come immediately if I knew it was a perception problem?

If I move on from the loss of a loved one, I’ve embraced reality. The ideal no more exists, and the reality is what matters. It’s only I that have changed. Wouldn’t this change come immediately, without causing pain, if I knew it was a perception problem?

If I just work hard on things that genuinely interest me, with utmost conviction and dedication, I become my only competition. My perception of success and failure changes. The person I idolise or emulate hasn’t changed, it’s only I that have changed. Wouldn’t this change come immediately if I knew it was a perception problem?

The hard part about all of this is to learn to develop this contrarian way of looking at life. How do I fundamentally embrace the fact that I am the cause of all my problems, and then instantly become completely free of problems?

This is the journey that I am on, and I want you to be a part of this journey with me. Once we both learn that we can be free of our problems, and we attain serenity of mind, our approach to life will change, and this new life will be nothing short of a miracle.

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